How to overcome nervousness.

Do you suffer from nerves or a feeling of constant anxiety? Do you fear an upcoming date or an important meeting? Does the idea of public speaking fill you with dread?

How do you overcome these nervous feelings?

Fortunately, a whole lot of research has been done in just this area and there's a number of strategies open to you when you're experiencing those jumpy feelings before an important or stressful event.

So here's some quick tips:

1. Come prepared

What is it that's bothering you about this event? If it's an upcoming date, prepare a list of subjects to talk about. If it's a presentation, make sure you do your homework. For an interview, find out as much as you can about your subject and compile a list of questions for the interviewer. If you come armed with these, you'll find you're instantly in a better, more confident place. Remember, knowledge is power!

2. Switch the focus

People who get nervousness tend to be inward-looking. They wonder what people will think about them, what will happen if they make a fool of themselves or that others will simply laugh at them.

A great trick is to turn the tables on your audience. If it's a date, talk about them, ask them lots of questions. And really listen to their answers. The same with a presentation - get volunteers to participate! If it's an interview, there's nothing wrong with asking plenty of questions to the interviewer - it will even make you look more interested in the position

Think outwardly!

3. Put things into perspective.

What's the worst that could happen? Who really cares if you fluff a line, or can't come up with the killer line or answer? It can be very easy to get wrapped up in your fears and insecurities and overblow the importance of an upcoming event.

Remember people don't analyse what other people are doing - they are often too preoccupied with themselves and thinking about their own problems!

So try to put your fears into perspective and don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

4. Take deep breaths

Breathing slowly from your abdomen can work wonders for many people. But it's important not to hyperventilate! The trick is to breathe SLOWLY! If you can, sit down and close your eyes whilst doing so and imagine a bright ball of light travelling up through your body, giving you a feeling a well-being as it rises up through you.

Deep breathing, when done correctly, can have a tremendously positive impact on the mind and body.

5. Think Positively

Instead of thinking of disastrous outcomes, try replacing them with amazing outcomes. Imagine people approaching you after your speech to congratulate you. Imagine your date being enraptured by you. Picture yourself laughing, smiling, acting confidently. And really FEEL HOW IT FEELS to act this way.

The more you practice the easier this becomes and your subconscious will actually make it a reality for you. If you dwell on a positive outcome then you'll be surprised how often your wishes come true.

Keep practising every day to change your mindset.

6. Just do it!

I once read a great book called, Feel the Fear and do it Anyway! It basically says that everyone gets nervous at various points in their lives. But the difference is that the people who are most successful, simply plough on in spite of their worries.

It's simply a question of disregarding your negative mind, saying 'I hear what you're saying, but I don't think you're steering me right'. By constantly exposing yourself to situations you normally avoid, you eventually become immune to them. Try it - it's scary at first but the effects can be astounding.

This article has focussed on anxiety in social situations. However if you feel that your anxiety is much more serious than simple nerves, then I strongly recommend that you visit your doctor for further advice.

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